I asked God today to show me He was in this with me. I would never test Him. I know He’s faithful. But, sometimes I just really need to hear it over and over that I’m on the right path. As the wait trudges on toward the fostering classes, I’m finding it more and more difficult to remain patient. No surprises there, if my past has anything to say about it. I’ve never been one to want to wait. One of these days I will be able to tell Him, “Lesson learned!” But, until then, I assume He’ll continue to burn away the chaff.
It was just a few moments ago during my quiet time that I asked God to reveal Himself to me. I’m usually the type to play Bible roulette. I can’t say it’s always the best way to find an answer, but it’s worked for me enough that it’s my first course of action.
Today I found two verses that spoke to me.
Psalm 27:14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
I so needed to hear from Him today and I’m so grateful for His word.
This process has given me a very small glimpse into how Mary felt when she ‘treasured up these things and pondered things in her heart.” Of course I’ll never begin to understand how it would feel to have given birth to the Savior of the Universe, but I feel like what we’re getting ready to do is so important to me, so directed by God, that it’s hard to write about. It's so personal. I’ll find myself over the course of the day, just overwhelmed in the excitement and gratitude that I just start crying. A wonderful cry.
That’s why I haven’t written a whole lot. I’m in the middle of the wait. Still blindly following the only One I can ever fully trust.
So, I'll follow and I'll wait, knowing that I have to be courageous, and not terrified or discouraged. Because the God that will create the life we’re going to look after in the near future is also the God that will give me the love of a mother with the supernatural strength to be able to let go if or when I have to.
