This Little Lamb

I started cleaning out the baby’s room today (formerly a very FULL playroom). The girls were so excited in the process, choosing stuffed animals, blankets and books to save for the little one that we hope to foster.

There were bins of toys to look through and it took all afternoon to barely make a dent. But, as I was dumping and sorting, I came across a little lamb. I just stared at it for a while. Surrounded by monkeys, bears, ducks, horses and puppies, I fixated on this one lamb. I decided then that I was going to decorate the room with lambs.

I told Matt and the girls at dinner what I wanted to do with the room. It wasn’t a huge revelation, the paint’s up and all I have to do is add a few things here and there. But, it wasn’t until just a few moments ago that it hit me.

A lamb. The one creature that is so cherished that its guardian would die to protect it.
The Lamb. The One that came to seek and save the lost.

So, lambs it is.

Roller Coasters

We boarded this roller coaster we’re on a couple months ago now, I guess. We’re all buckled in, smiling in anticipation. Our knuckles are white on the safety bar as we’re ready to experience something exhilarating, exciting, fun and just this side of terrifying. We’ve started the ascent. We can hear the tick, tick, tick of the coaster’s car over the track. And we’re moving. So. Very. Slowly.

In the middle of the biggest decision of our lives to foster, God called me to another biggest decision of our lives. Matt and I decided that we’re going to home school the girls next year. How I know that we can do both, foster and home school, has absolutely everything to do with God’s timing. If He would have called us to home school before He called us to foster, I’m not sure how ready I would have been to listen. Now, it’s just another thrilling turn (and maybe a loop-to-loop) on our journey to come.

“Use Me, Lord!” Those words are propelling this ride forward. And with God at the controls, how can I fear?

In the Wait

I asked God today to show me He was in this with me. I would never test Him. I know He’s faithful. But, sometimes I just really need to hear it over and over that I’m on the right path. As the wait trudges on toward the fostering classes, I’m finding it more and more difficult to remain patient. No surprises there, if my past has anything to say about it. I’ve never been one to want to wait. One of these days I will be able to tell Him, “Lesson learned!” But, until then, I assume He’ll continue to burn away the chaff.

It was just a few moments ago during my quiet time that I asked God to reveal Himself to me. I’m usually the type to play Bible roulette. I can’t say it’s always the best way to find an answer, but it’s worked for me enough that it’s my first course of action.

Today I found two verses that spoke to me.

Psalm 27:14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

I so needed to hear from Him today and I’m so grateful for His word.

This process has given me a very small glimpse into how Mary felt when she ‘treasured up these things and pondered things in her heart.” Of course I’ll never begin to understand how it would feel to have given birth to the Savior of the Universe, but I feel like what we’re getting ready to do is so important to me, so directed by God, that it’s hard to write about. It's so personal. I’ll find myself over the course of the day, just overwhelmed in the excitement and gratitude that I just start crying. A wonderful cry.

That’s why I haven’t written a whole lot. I’m in the middle of the wait. Still blindly following the only One I can ever fully trust.

So, I'll follow and I'll wait, knowing that I have to be courageous, and not terrified or discouraged. Because the God that will create the life we’re going to look after in the near future is also the God that will give me the love of a mother with the supernatural strength to be able to let go if or when I have to.