Walking in the Darkness

Psalm 119:105  Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.


Feeding the baby in the middle of the night can be treacherous.  Once he's been fed and I place him gently in his crib, I turn off his light and make my way back to our bedroom.  It’s pitch black.  My thick-lens, emergency glasses are of no use.  I put my hands out in front of me, feeling my way back to bed.  But, my feet get tangled in a shirt on the floor and my shoulder pounds into the wall. 

That is foster parenting.  All is going according to plan around us - hearings are scheduled, family is located,  kids are assigned to new homes.  But, we’re left in the dark, arms flailing while trying desperately to find our way.  We trip and are bruised, waiting for someone shed some light on what’s happening. 

We don’t know what’s going to happen with this beloved child.  From what we’ve been told, family is no longer an option, but things change quickly and we’re left to wonder.  Will they come get him this morning?  Will I have to say ‘good-bye’ with only a moment’s notice?  Will he be here a few days or a few months? 

It’s not a problem with the system, it just is, and no one’s at fault.  But with so little light, all we can do is take one step at a time in the darkness. 

La’akov.